my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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