omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Dicks are not precious.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
