jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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