So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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