the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
