i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
