Where are you?
In a non slutty way
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
