You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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