So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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