we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
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