after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
