I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
