Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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