Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
