i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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