is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize