Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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