I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
