CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
