I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
