he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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