My friends, they love my intelligence
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize