he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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