my mouth tastes like poor choices
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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