I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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