Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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