Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
