I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
