Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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