just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
