You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
