Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
