i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
