Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
This is my gift to your gina
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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