I don't remember. Are we still dating?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
How does one acquire holy water?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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