Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
