My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
