I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
My dick has a subreddit
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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