i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize