Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
