he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
