i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
