I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Barsexuality is the new black.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
We are two peas in an std pod
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
