Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I am never drinking with the goths again.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
