i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
i've created a new STD.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Randomize
