She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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