maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
