xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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