no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
