so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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