butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize