shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
