i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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