I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize