Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
