you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
