So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
We need a shit load of segways right now
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
