How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Randomize
