i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
