I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
