I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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