i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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