I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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