does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
