he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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