I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
