we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
