Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
