He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
There r osticjed everywhere
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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