I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
