chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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