I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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