just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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