And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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